Here, at long last, are the much-anticipated

What is Blackness?

Blackness is whatever comes out of my head. Generally, this refers to artistic stuff, but just lately there's been a lighter side to it (such as Random Quotes, et cetera). Blackness proper (the artistic stuff), however, is a pseudo-labyrinth which represents the twists and turns, secret passages, and trapdoors of the human psyche.

Where is Blackness?

Blackness is on hiatus right now, sorry!

How do I navigate Blackness?

Hah, I bet you wish I'd answer that, don't you? I will give you a hint though...CLICK THE LINKS! And don't assume you can't click somewhere just 'cause it doesn't look like you can, or that what you've just clicked will take you where you thought it would—not everything is as it seems.

I hear there's a "Level II" somewhere. How do I get to it?

Why yes, there is. And soon enough there will also be a Level III. As to how one gets there, see my answer to the previous question.

When will Blackness be back so I can try all this?

Unknown at this point; again, I'm sorry. When Blackness does return, it will be announced conspicuously on the Foyer page, no doubt.

Are you published?

Yeah. *grumble* Don't get me started.

Why didn't you post the Customer Quote I sent you?

There could be a couple different reasons. The most common reason quotes don't get posted is if they identify the company with which the customer was dealing, and there is no way to mask its origins without losing the humor/stupidity of the quote. Or, maybe your quote just happened to suck.

Why didn't you post the Previously Viewed Link I sent you?

Either I didn't think it was worthy, or its content was inappropriate.

Why did it take so long before my submission was posted?

Because I am busy, and the sole maintainer of this site.

Where do the Random Quotes originate?

From myself, my friends, and my acquaintances.

How can I send you a Random Quote?

You can't. There are two rules for Random Quotes: They have to either be original, or have some significant meaning in an 'inside joke' kind of way, AND I have to be present when they are first uttered or acquire inside-joke meaning.

Some of the quotes are grandfathered in because I developed the above guidelines after Random Quotes had already been up for a while. The 'rules' became necessary due to the frequency with which I found myself in exchanges similar to the following dramatization:
Some person: "Hey, I've got a great quote for your Random Quotes page!"

Me: "Oh?"

Them: "Yeah, it's blah blah blah!" (hysterical laughter)

Me: "I don't get it."

Them: "So-and-so said it. You know them, right?"

Me: "No."

Them: "Oh. Well, we were with a bunch of people you don't know, at this place you've never been, where there was this thing that you've never seen, and someone said something that was funny, and then later something happened that was funny, and then..." ...which could go on for like, five minutes, and not actually *be* funny.

It did occur to me to go through and remove any of the old quotes that didn't qualify under the new rules, but I couldn't bear to part with some of the real beauties, such as "I am cute! I am Satan's Funion!" which was originally asserted (not in my presence) by the then-toddler of a friend.

Who the hell is Matt?

A brilliantly sarcastic friend and co-worker of mine.

Okay, this is a somewhat long story. Back in the day (around Halloween of 2000), one of my friends and co-workers had a bowl of candy at her desk. I was picking through it, looking for palatable candies, and happened to mention in passing that I dislike Tootsie Rolls. Upon hearing this, Matt stood up and proclaimed "You don't like Tootsie Rolls? What are you, some kind of communist spy?" Several months later, I learned that Matt had also accused another of our friends of being a communist for the exact same reason. Additionally, she was also a communist in Matt's book because she hadn't seen Strange Brew or The Blues Brothers. This lead to the idea that exactly *how* communist one was could be expressed as a percentage. After months of prodding, I finally got Matt to compile a list of communism criteria, which became Matt's Official Communism Test.

What percent communist are you?

23%

Can you please connect me with Apple Tech Support?

No.

Why didn't you answer the question I sent you?

Because no question is stupid until you ask it.